The Dangers of Behaving Like a Pair-of-Hands or An Expert
Dr. Lee Kang Yam
Chief Learning Curator at Flame Centre | Human Skills Institute
Feb 2025
I have been on both the client and consultant sides, working as both an internal and external consultant. One of the insights from working on both sides is the realization that collaborative partnership is a strategic choice.
There is a tendency in the client-consultant relationship for the client to treat the consultant as an expert or a pair-of-hands. When the client treats the consultant as an expert, they are likelier to devolve their thinking and responsibility to the expert. After all, if the expert says it is ‘alright’ or ‘can,’ then everything is ‘ok.’ Clients treat the advice and recommendations of the expert as the ‘truth.’ The downside of this relationship is that the consultant may be elevated to the role of an authority figure, dictating solutions to the client. The relationship is one-sided, with the consultant taking full control of decision-making.
This relationship is not ideal for the consultant. While this role leverages the consultant’s expertise and saves time, it may risk alienating the client. When clients feel sidelined, they may resist the proposed solutions or struggle to implement them effectively. Over time, the lack of buy-in can lead to strained relationships and suboptimal results.
Pair-Of-Hands Role
In the pair-of-hands role, the consultant operates as an order-taker, following the client’s directives without question. I witnessed these behaviors when the client made requests, such as whether it was feasible to make some system information available or develop an additional feature. The consultant would provide either a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The client views the consultant as an extra resource to get things done. The consultant is reduced to being an order-taker, unable to contribute insights that could save time, reduce costs, or enhance outcomes. If the client’s plan is flawed or when adverse outcomes happen, the consultant can reply that the client asked whether this can be done, but not whether this should be done or how this would impact the business. From the consultant’s perspective, they have answered the client’s request, nothing more, nothing less. The pair-of-hands role may seem straightforward, but it often leads to missed opportunities for improvement and value-add, both from the client’s and the consultant’s perspectives.
Collaborative Partnership
There is an alternative: a genuine collaborative partnership between client and consultant. In this relationship, the consultant spends more time understanding the client’s goals, challenges, and context before proposing solutions. Both client and consultant participate in brainstorming and decision-making processes. The consultant feels empowered to communicate openly about risks, limitations, and trade-offs. Both parties acknowledge and value each other’s expertise and perspectives. In this role, the consultant and client work as a team, leveraging each other’s strengths to co-create solutions. The consultant provides expertise while valuing the client’s deep understanding of their business context. Collaborative partnerships foster trust, innovation, and shared ownership of outcomes. I believe this approach not only delivers better results but also strengthens relationships, paving the way for future opportunities.
Asking the Right Questions
In my experience, when the consultant is being an expert or pair-of-hands, the wrong questions are often asked. Both client and consultant should ask questions that invite thinking, curiosity, and challenging assumptions rather than closed-ended technical questions.
Clients should ask questions such as:
What do you think?
What impact will this have?
What can go wrong?
How might we solve this?
What can we do about this?
What did we miss?
If you were the client, what would you do?
As a client, never accept replies such as, “This is a business decision,” “I do not know your users,” “This is not in the service agreement,” or “This is above my pay grade.” Challenge the consultant by asking, “If you are a true partner, what would you do?” or “As a value-added collaborator, what would you have us do or, more importantly, not do?”
As a consultant, ask questions such as:
Why is the client going down this path?
What should the client be asking me instead?
What is the client missing?
What am I afraid to say to the client and why?
If I were a collaborative partner, what would be my advice to the client?
What would I need to do in this collaborative partnership?
Asking the right questions elevates clients and consultants to a collaborative partnership. This strategy helps both parties achieve win-win outcomes.
As a client or consultant, are you asking the right questions? Do you want to learn more about asking the right questions to be a strategic partner?
If you're curious about:
How to build trust with clients, help and add value.
How to discover client needs, provide support and effective recommendations.
How to develop a collaborative relationship and give feedback.